UNPACKING QUOTATION

Prof. Alexander

“ The fact is I am getting a little afraid of John.

He seems very queer sometimes, and even Jennie has an inexplicable look.

It strikes me occasionally, just as a scientific hypothesis,—that perhaps it is the paper!

I have watched John when he did not know I was looking, and come into the room suddenly on the most innocent excuses, and I've caught him several times LOOKING AT THE WALLPAPER! And Jennie too. I caught Jennie with her hand on it once.”

          The above was quoted from “ The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Stetson, the story convey the tale of a woman who is the narrator in the story suffering from a mental disorder. The narrator shift of thinking toward John and Jennie regarding the mystery of the yellow wallpaper. She thinks that they concealed the truth hidden by the wallpaper and that revive the inner sensation of dread toward the closest person. The narrator said “the fact is i'm getting a little afraid of john” in this event she thinks that she is getting better because of the conscious feeling that she obtains by noticing the expression of people around her. She starts to built doubts about people helping her which is the result of her illness. Again the narrator is thinking that she is getting better be drawing a perverted path that won’t take her anywhere close to wellness.

             Through all the story the “ I” in this stage is the well healthy and mindfulness woman that determine the right from wrong by herself. Whereas she follows with the word “ caught” which shows that there is also a conflict that she notice and it gives her a sense of healing from the mental illness. Therefore the accusation or conflict was “LOOKING AT THE WALLPAPER!” which to me is not a conflict and by her saying that she really augments her illness be creating negativity in her mind toward caregivers. A simple mind could have a better understanding that if there is a drawing people might take a look at it or even though people always look at drawing even if is’t good.

            The narrator imagination is full with naive thinking that she refuses reality by trying not to accept her illness. However part of the cure is to accept your illness and not let your thought get over you and destroy your ability to be well. Here the narrator is always looking for a reason such as expression to built negativity like “ He seems very queer sometimes” which mean that he look suspicious. Well its natural for him to look even worse than suspicious because of all the horror that was told be her about that wallpaper and for him as her psychiatrist logically its naturally that he stare at the wallpaper.

           However; It is true that sometimes we may not say the truth but our expression may let it out and also how you say things absolutely matter. Here the narrator is taking the expression of people dealing with them to solve what she thinks is a mystery. Therefore the symptoms of the mental illness could be the misinterpretation of people expression. She also mentions “ Jennie has an inexplicable look” here another family member and a caregiver as well but she describe her as a hazy person who is unclear to figure the truth from. The narrator place all these assumption about her husband and doctor in the same time and Jannie the sister of John and never pause for a second to say that it might be her who is mentally ill or at least is not thinking right.

         Overall we have to keep in account that the narrator is putting an effort to prove that the person who had given her so much love is finally was only pretending or faking it. The narrator is taking a cruel step by considering people close to her as haters and they don’t want her to see the truth. However Sadly i say that the saying said "I prayed for a broken bone that would heal in six weeks. But that never happened. I was cursed with an illness that nobody could see and nobody knew much about" by Andy Behrman. Finally at last i want to say, It’s hard to live with mental illness and hard for people to deal with it because it commands you to team up against your lovers.